Again tonight God showed up at our house.  I don't know why I am always so blown away by His power and grace, but I am.  He is Amazing!

J had ask to talk last night then decided she didn't feel well so she would just go to bed.  Tonight I ask if she wanted to talk. She decided to talk.  We went to the swing where it was dark.  It was so pretty setting there looking at the stars and pool by moonlight.  She said she has had a lot of things going on in her head.  That satan is really telling her she shouldn't be happy here, shouldn't let us love her, shouldn't love us.....   We talked about how we knew he would try after Sunday to attack. I reminded her that the Bible says resist the devil and he will flee. 

As we talked I ask her to really define her feelings.  Was she mad, sad, glad, angry, frustrated?  She thought and said depressed.  As we talked I ask her if she was willing to find out what God said. She agreed. I held her hands and we started praying.  Asking God to take her back to the ROOT of why she was depressed.   Not a twig or leave or even the trunk of the problem, but to show her the very root of it and then help her remove it.  As she prayed her hands would squeeze mine more and less. Finally she was back to about 5 yo.  She was on her bed.  Her step father was yelling at her and name calling.  I ask her what Jesus said about it.  "The names aren't true.  I will keep you safe.  You are my child."   We continued to pray.  After a bit we started talking about her step father.  He was very abusive, but not at first.  He became that way over time and with an illness that cost him his life.  She "thinks" it was brain cancer.  I explained about how anything be it cancer or just tumors growing in his brain could have caused the change in personality.  We talked more about abuse and how abusers were abused as children.  She didn't know that. 

I said some thing about the root of her depression and she said she thought she knew now.  She shared that he had wanted her to love him, but she being about 3 and afraid of attaching hadn't told him she loved him. How she wished she had.  How she wished he was here so she could tell him now. 

I ask her to let God show her that her step dad did know she loved him.  I ask her to go back in her memories and let God show her good memories.  She agreed and we prayed.  She was sobbing as she saw herself setting in his lap as her mom took pictures and everyone was laughing.  She now knows he knew she loved him.  

She spoke out loud she forgives him for the abuse.  Over and over she said she forgives him through many tears and hugs.   This is really huge.  Her anger at him was very real.  She didn't understand how the others could forgive their bio's for the abuse.  They didn't understand how she couldn't.   After she had forgiven him I ask her what picture comes to mind when I say his name.  She smiled and said him laughing.   I ask her what picture it was an hour ago.  She said him hurting me. 

We talked about God helping her file her memories away correctly.  That just like when you pick up a bunch of pictures you go through them and the yucky ones you tuck back never to look at He is helping her do that.  They are there if she needs to look, but they aren't in her memory scrap book of stuff she sees when she remembers the past.

God really is doing a work in her!  I am so amazed to stand and watch.   I am honored to be a part of it.